The Internets First Ever Starting Quarterback 

​QB Lessons in Mckinney in Dallas will teach you about being the greatest at something. Listen to the quarterback coach in McKinney in Dallas. Trust your quarterback lessons in McKinney in Dallas. What are you great at? Have you ever thought about it? Not like going to work, and trying to make a sale. That is cool. I mean, I get it. Its definitely worth the effort. But what you are fucking the greatest in the history of the world to ever do it at. It doesn't mean you have to be famous, or a celebrity. First I will tell you that I am the greatest quarterback to ever live. Second I will tell you that I am the funniest person you have ever met. Top ten funniest person on this earth. Guarantee it. Fucking great human being. See everyone was born with these subtleties. The world sends you to high school. To algebra class. They give you the SAT, and other tests. All this reform. It all works. It makes you a solid functioning person. You grow up tall and strong. Don't get fucking arrested at gas stations for your motorcycle being too loud. You become a proud, solid person. But what makes you great. And what do you love. I swear to god I love throwing a football. Feeling it in my hand. The third rung of the laces. Its so beautiful. I like to hold it, and fondle the ball. Rub its leathery skin. All the little bumps of the ball. The white on the ends. The white part is silk smooth compared to the middle part where the brittle stiches are at. I spin the ball in my hand. I can do little hand tricks with it. Make it lay sideways and spin in rotation. Grab it exactly at the laces and throw it. Like Jake Fromm dropping back. He spins the ball dropping back. Kurt Warner does the same thing. My mom use to yell at me. Stop spinning the fucking ball dropping back. It annoyed her. But its like when you open your phone using southwest airlines wifi that barely ever works even though you paid $8 for that shit. You are trying to watch Instagram videos, or stare at pictures of the waitresses at tight ends in plano, and the fucking video won't stream. I want my money back. You can just call Southwest Airlines when you get off the plane and tell them, and they will send you your money back in 7-10 business days. And when you hang up with them, you can call the fucking IRS, and the bank, and ATT, and whoever else you want to spend all fucking day on the phone with. You just end up midflight trying to watch one of those unbearable shows on NFL network. Dear god -- no. How the fuck did a 3rd rate receiver Nate Burleson pivot to a full fledge analyst career? No one on earth is worse than him, and he is sitting with Bill Cowher on stage. Bill is like staring at him. Wants to cut his ass right there for dropping a punt. What are you great at? You think Stone Cold knew what he was great at before he knew. You think he was like 24 and just walking the local park sidewalk. Thinking about all the turtles sunning themselves. And he was like man what I am great at. You think he knew he was Stone Cold Steve Austin. You think he knew that one day he would drop the stunner on Shawn Micheals at WrestleMania with Mike Tyson reffing. He would look over at the announcers, and they would throw him a lunchbox full of beers, he would open and smash on his face. You think he knew that shit. Or it just happened to him. One day he tripped and fell. Looked up saw an interdimensional portal, closed his eyes and stepped into it. I mean he had to be at home by himself, or at least on the phone with his friend, and just had to be an amazingly funny shit talker. Just great at talking shit. Umm, hello you son of a bitch! Most people answer the phone like, Hey this is Doug. He calls someone. They answer -- what the fuck do you think you are doing? Just blasts them right off the bat. Just like in wrestling. His friend laughing inside. Oh this mother fucker wants to role play. And just do fake scenarios. I do that shit all the time to my friend Brian. Brian Voges might be the greatest linebacker in Nebraska history. Google it. I just call him and fake being certain people. Yesterday I called him as Ryan Day addressing the Ohio State football team, and Urban walks into the meeting he wasn't supposed to be at, and just fucking destroys still assistant Coach Day in front of the team. Now get your ass out on the practice field. It took me three tries to record it. I would get to the end of the voicemail and it would say - If you are satisfied with your message press 1, if you would like to delete this message, and re-record press 3. I press 3. And re-record. He even tried to call me during this process. You know to actually talk to me. I forwarded his call so I could finish my message. It was much more important to finish my message than to have an actual conversation. You think Stone Cold was badass at that? I remember watching a deal where Adam Sandler use to prank call people all night long from his apartment. Just do different characters. With his friends. He actually released some CD's where he just prank calls people or does audio stories. They are actually pretty fun. The GOAT. He sucks now- his Netflix special was so bad. What are you great at? I think being great actually comes from being bored. When you have no purpose. Nothing to do. Boredom is the number one drug on the planet. You just have the base package of your human self. You, and your factory reset model. You know how the iPhone comes with like the App store and Apple Maps. What is in your App store? Some people say I have the greatest memory you have ever personally witnessed. Ten times better than Sean McVay. Memory like a tasered Elephant. I am going to fucking trample that guy one day as the guy scrubs the elephant down with a deck brush and soap to get him ready for the circus performance this afternoon. McVay I mean honestly he named some Bears players, and people are like marveling at his mental recall. Dear god -- does he remember how many dumps he took today? I am the master of the 35 minute work dump. 2 Cups of Coffee, and I Phone, and a bathroom stall. Sean McVay - I am a better coach than him. Mark it down. If I wanted to be a Head Coach of the Los Angeles Rams then I could be a head coach of the LA Rams, and do just as good a job as Sean McVay. I am dead serious, and not even in the slightest kidding. If I really wanted to do that shit. I would be even better. You can't tell me different. Sean was a shitty high school quarterback with a decent bloodline. He has never done anything special in his life. Would be an easy opponent in the sport of social climbing. I am an expert at the 14 principles of Amazon. Read that shit. Executives crying, and battling to the death to get their plan approved over their peer. I would tell him that I knew more about Don Shula than him, and he would resort to his memory. Spend too much time on Johnny Unitas's haircut. And I would unzip my pants, pull my dick out and piss on his leg while he stood their frozen in thought. Like a dog on a fire hydrant. His water repellant Khaki pants from Target working perfectly. Then I would walk down the hallway, and fire Zac Taylor for always taking pictures where is squinting and having a brother named after a printing press. His brother loves Panera because they press all the sandwiches. All his shirts are pressed for work. These two clowns. Zac Taylor had the greatest quarterback since Harrison Beck in Gunner Kiel -- and ruined his whole life & career with his shitty Tommy Tubberville play calling. Now Gunner sells pills out of one of those pay for the week apartment motels. Its $225 dollars for the week. x4 weeks. That is like almost 900 dollars. Just got get a fucking $600 dollar a month apartment.  Anytime you get an uber or lyft to one of these joints cancel that shit unless you want the inside of your ford focus to smell like a strippers deodorant. Anyways what you are great at. Jerry McGuire was so great that he left Bob Sugar and his firm to start his own firm with Renee Zellweiger. And he signed Rod Smart. And got him a new contract. Walked forcefully through the airport at night. Learned to become a great dad. I am here for my wife. She walks out of the kitchen. What are you great at? Why do you think they created the show America's Got Talent. Because they know there are a lot of random whack jobs out there with zany talents. What are you great at? Is being great natural? Do you have to be like half great half study hard. You know like Steve Young. He had the natural talent. He could run and he could throw. But he wasn't good with the Buccaneers. Just a wild bronco on the frozen tundra. Undisciplined. Unorganized. No mentor. Nothing - just running around. Then he finally gained some control, and was put into an environment that gave him rules and structure. His talent learned boundaries. He was at the mall and all the blue squares in the tile he could step on, but the white squares were lava. Maybe we are given everything we need to succeed. For example -- we are given the brown sugar, chocolate chips, eggs, sugar & flour, but then you forgot the baking soda. You need to call your friend across the street for the baking soda. She has some. You go and get it. Now you can make perfect chocolate chip cookies. Maybe god intentionally left out just one ingredient. That you had to go an find, and go get, to add to your recipe to make you great. Once you get that secret ingredient. You can cook the dough, and make perfect chocolate chip cookies. I think that is what is going on. What makes you great? An iPhone is only great if its charged. It needs a charger. I always put a phone charger in the pocket of my blazer when I go out to the bar. So I can charge my phone. Because it needs a charger. It can have all the apps in the world, call text email, uber or lyft app. It needs that fucking charger. Why the fuck isn't there bluetooth charging. I am just dancing in the club, and the air is charging my phone. I am standing at the airport waiting for my plane. I don't have to go find a seat with a plug, or a community bench with a plug. I just stand there and it charges. Cooks your insides like a Thanksgiving Turkey while it charges your phone. I need a fucking charger at the bar for my phone, and guess what, I got it. I know what it takes to make that iPhone great. I saw this thing where Rex Tillerson said that Trump doesn't like to read. He just has his idea, and his plan, and he will definitely tell you try to convince him otherwise. But usually not. He doesn't want to hear about laws & policy, and other inhibitors. That is leadership. That is the definition of leadership. Go get me a fucking cup of coffee Rex. A quarterback is great if they complete 70% of their passes. Why can't someone be great if 70% of their decisions turn out correct. Its literally the same thing. Perspective people. You ever tell yourself that -- that you have a 70% percent I-AM-RIGHT factor. One boss said to me one time -- I said to him,  I am right and she is wrong. He said- I know guys like you. Always think you are right. I said well good then I don't have to explain myself. Cause I am right, and she is wrong. I knew I was. I could feel it in my bones. There didn't need to be details, and explanations. Thoughts or concerns. I was right, and she wrong. End of discussion. Period. I took the snap. I dropped back. I saw the receiver. I stood in the pocket, and delivered the rocket. Boom. Done. Catch it. Run. Score a touchdown and go wave to Tua's dads belt in the stands.  Anyways he got mad at me. Who cares. Its the conviction people that matters. Most folks can't be great because they have no conviction. Can't process information fast enough. Can't make a decision.  You can be wrong, right, but not indifferent. You just pick a side, lock down the hatches. and Make America Great Again! Say anything, do anything, be anything that makes you great. More folks should be worshipping Vince McMahon than Mark Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg leads computer screens, and Vince McMahon leads people like Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock. Hey Stone Cold, you can't do that. Stone Cold pours cement into his Corvette on National Television. Goes and buys a beer truck and sprays you down in the ring with Coors Light. That's the difference. Great Haircut Mark. Looks like someone took a fucking cereal bowl and cut around the top in a perfect circle. Your favorite band. What makes you great? When you just listen to your gut tell you its hungry, and the bacteria manipulates your thoughts to order a pizza, and it arrives, you put it on top of your oven, and open the box, and that hot melted cheese, and you pull out a slice, and put it onto a plate, and go sit on the couch, and start eating it. God damn I needed this pizza. I feel fucking great.

Quarterback LessonS